Suzy Bauer’s Step by Step Threesome Erotic Blog

TGIF! Nice Weekend Again, Hopefully the weather will improve here in Holland as the past 5 days it really sucked!

Anyway, I received an email today from a friend and I thought was funny but at the same time I thought it’s sad. However if I separate it from my feelings” I think is a GREAT opportunity to find women for threesome sex!

Please read the email and then I will explain you what to do

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The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere,even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say “screw you.”

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex, which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex: This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And last, but not least, the 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to live on.

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I have not really gathered statistics but most couples practice kind 3,4,5,6 or 7

Now that’s exactly WHY Sites like http://www.ashleymadisonblog.com have been so succesful!

THEY are FULL of women wanting uncomplicated affairs! Now more than ever you can use the Internet to find women to have a threesome. As mentioned you can use AshleyMadisonBlog.com or our latest finding the video chat from Adult Friend Finder! (have a look below).

Why not “HELP” horny married women relief their sexual frustration, and live your your fantasy at the same time?

Have a nice weekend Suzy

Oh my god, I just re-read my post yesterday and I’ve noticed an amazing amount of typos and grammar mistakes! Yes, my native tongue is not English BUT I normally do better than that, I guess it was the effects of the alcohol and excesive sex on the weekend.

This morning a friend of mine send me an email and at first I laughed but afterwards a bit disturbed 

 Please read the email forward (That was supposed to be funny):

TO MY DEAR WIFE:

> During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
> I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
> The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:
> 54 times the sheets were clean
> 17 times it was too late
> 49 times you were too tired
> 20 times it was too hot
> 15 times you pretended to be sleep
> 22 times you had a headache
> 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby
> 16 times you said you were too sore
> 12 times it was the wrong time of the month
> 19 times you had to get up early
> 9 times you said weren’t in the mood
> 7 times you were sunburned
> 6 times you were watching the late show
> 5 times you didn’t want to mess up your new hairdo
> 3 times you said the neighbors would hear us
> 9 times you said your mother would hear us
>
> Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:
>
> 6 times you just lay there
> 8 times you reminded me there’s a crack in the ceiling
> 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with
> 7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished
> 1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move
>
> KEEP READING…….
>
> =====================================================
>
>>
> TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:
> I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn’t
> get more than you did:
> 5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat
> 36 times you did not come home at all
> 21 times you didn’t cum
> 33 times you came too soon
> 19 times you went soft before you got in
> 38 times you worked too late
> 10 times you got cramps in your toes
> 29 times you had to get up early to play golf
> 2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls
> 4 times you got it stuck in your zipper
> 3 times you had a cold and your nose was running
> 2 times you had a splinter in your finger
> 20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day
> 6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book
> 98 times you were too busy watching TV
> Of the times we did get together:
> The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.
> I wasn’t talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, “Would you
> prefer me on my back or kneeling?”
> The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to
> breathe.

What a horrendous thing!  

My question is why do this boredom never happens to swinger couples?

I think the answer is obvious!

xoxo

Suzy